What kind of harm can this cause?

These are the outcomes—the reasons all of this matters.

Once access is gained and tools are in place, what follows isn’t random. It’s often deliberate, strategic, and highly personal. The point isn’t just to “spy” or “be nosy”—it’s to undermine your autonomy, your relationships, your finances, and your sense of reality.

These threats aren’t theoretical. They’re lived experiences for many. Recognising them can help you name the harm—and start reclaiming ground.

Surveillance

Not the cold, distant kind with satellite dishes and acronymed agencies. This is far more intimate.

We’re talking about:

• Reading private messages
• Monitoring calls and call logs
• Watching location history and physical movement
• Checking browser activity and app usage
• Observing habits (e.g., when you sleep, what you eat, who you talk to)

It’s often 24/7. And it creates a chilling effect: you begin to self-censor, second-guess your choices, and feel constantly watched—even when you’re alone.

The goal? Not just to know what you’re doing. To influence what you will do.

Control

Surveillance feeds control. Once they know your movements, needs, or fears, they can act on them.

Examples include:

• Blocking access to shared bank accounts or online services
• Deleting or sabotaging job applications
• Locking you out of your own devices or accounts
• Using smart home tech to regulate your environment (light, heat, noise)
• Pressuring behaviour changes through “concerns” about your routine, spending, or contacts

The aim isn’t chaos—it’s predictability. To make you adjust your behaviour to avoid the next disruption.

And because it’s done with subtlety or under the guise of care (“I just want to make sure you’re safe”), it can be difficult to explain, let alone prove.

Isolation

One of the oldest tactics in the book—now with digital upgrades.

Abusers isolate by:

• Deleting contacts or blocking numbers on your device
• Sending messages “from you” to loved ones, either to offend or to quietly push them away
• Creating fake social media drama that drives friends off
• Monitoring communication so closely you stop reaching out altogether
• Hacking group chats or DMs and sowing confusion with misinformation

The end goal is to remove your safety net. No one to turn to, no one who believes you, and no visible evidence of wrongdoing.

By the time you notice the silence, it can feel like it was your own idea.

Reputation harm

The digital smear campaign: disturbingly easy to launch, difficult to contain.

Common methods:

• Posting false accusations or private details online
• Doctoring screenshots or faking conversations
• Sharing private images or messages out of context
• Reporting you to employers, clubs, or volunteer organisations
• Creating fake accounts in your name to cause disruption

It doesn’t take much. A handful of well-timed lies can damage credibility, destroy professional relationships, and create confusion among friends and family.

Many victims find themselves having to explain or defend things they never did—while their abuser plays the concerned party from the sidelines.

Entrapment

Perhaps the most exhausting tactic of all.

Here, the abuser uses the legal or institutional system against the victim:

• Creating fake evidence (messages, emails, voice recordings)
• Editing conversations to change context
• Reporting victims as unstable, abusive, or unfit to parent
• Triggering police or social service involvement under false pretences
• Initiating repeated legal action to drain time, energy, and finances

It’s not about winning the case. It’s about wearing you down.

This kind of manipulation can be especially hard to challenge because on the surface, it looks like the system is “working.” But it’s being fed bad data—and the burden of proof lands squarely on the person being targeted.

A word on this section

These threats aren’t technical. They’re human. They exist because someone is using access to undermine your safety, not because of some flaw in you or your behaviour.

The important thing is: once you see the patterns, you can start planning around them. You’re not imagining it. You’re not overreacting. And you’re not alone.