Mapping impacts to responses
When technology is used as a tool of control, the impacts can feel overwhelming—psychological, physical, financial, legal, and deeply personal.
But every form of harm has a possible counter-strategy. This isn’t a silver bullet list. It’s a map. Something to help you find a starting point.
This guide walks through each major type of impact and offers ways to respond—whether you’re still in the situation or already out.
Links to how-to guides and tools will follow in the next section. For now, focus on regaining space, clarity, and confidence.
Psychological harm → digital detox & trauma-aware support
What’s going on: Surveillance—even the threat of it—leads to anxiety, hypervigilance, and burnout. Constant second-guessing of your tech, surroundings, and choices.
Response strategies:
Digital detox, selectively:
- Use a clean, offline notebook for key notes or journaling
- Designate one “clean” device with no logins for essential use
- Step away from social media if it’s being used to monitor or provoke
Trauma-aware support:
- Look for domestic abuse services that understand tech abuse
- Consider trauma-informed therapists (especially those familiar with coercive control)
- Avoid “just change your password” advice-givers—they’re not the target audience
Clarity tools:
- Keep a log (digital or paper) of strange tech behaviours
- Journal emotions and responses over time to spot patterns and reclaim trust in your own perception
Physical safety risks → location hygiene & emergency planning
What’s going on: Location data and connected devices can allow someone to physically track or corner you. In worst cases, it enables violence.
Response strategies:
Secure your location data:
- Disable live location sharing in Google/Apple services
- Check apps like Life360, Find My, and ride-hailing histories
- Reset location permissions for all apps (they love re-enabling themselves after updates)
Check for trackers:
- Scan for AirTags and similar devices (Android: Tracker Detect; Apple: built-in alerts)
- Check vehicles, bags, pets, children’s items
Emergency comms & planning:
- Have a clean phone with basic contacts and 2FA access
- Keep emergency numbers on paper or in a physical address book
- Make a digital exit plan, including backup access to key documents/accounts
Financial harm → account recovery & proof trails
What’s going on: Locked accounts, stolen funds, blocked job applications, wrecked credit. Some of it’s stealthy; some of it’s out in the open.
Response strategies:
Account audit:
- Regain access to banking, cloud, job platforms, and email using a clean device
- Change recovery details, then passwords
- Freeze shared accounts after setting up new, independent ones
Track the sabotage:
- Screenshot any financial transactions or logins you didn’t make
- Log deleted applications, missing files, or job rejections with no obvious cause
- Consider placing a fraud alert or credit freeze with credit bureaus
Rebuild support:
- If safe, speak to your employer about suspicious activity or impersonation
- Keep a log of anything that affects your financial situation—it may help in legal or housing cases
Legal danger → evidence capture & tactical calm
What’s going on: Abusers may fabricate screenshots, stage messages, or provoke police contact under false pretences. Worse: the system often doesn’t understand tech-based abuse.
Response strategies:
Capture without confrontation:
- Screenshot abuse in context (include timestamps, system clock, and sender metadata)
- Use video screen recordings to capture manipulation in action (e.g., changing thermostats, app alerts)
- Export messages or logs using tools that don’t trigger obvious alerts
Back up safely:
- Store logs on secure cloud storage with 2FA or on encrypted USBs
- If possible, use a third-party witness (advocate, case worker) to confirm screenshots or logs exist
Know what not to delete:
- Even if messages feel distressing or incriminating, keep them.
Fabricated evidence is easier to challenge when real records still exist. - If in doubt, back up first—delete later, safely.
- Even if messages feel distressing or incriminating, keep them.
Expert allies:
- Contact legal clinics, privacy organisations, or DV services with tech experience
- Don’t assume police or courts will understand app-level abuse—come armed with explanations
Loss of autonomy → boundary-setting & digital reset
What’s going on: Abuse through tech chips away at independence. Even after separation, routines are shaped by past manipulation—where you go, what apps you use, what you avoid.
Response strategies:
Start reclaiming routine:
- Choose new platforms that haven’t been compromised (new email, calendar, to-do lists)
- Unlink from shared accounts, even if it’s inconvenient
- Make conscious decisions about which apps you trust, and why
Set boundaries with tech:
- Use aliases or pseudonyms online, especially for recovery accounts
- Turn off read receipts, location history, syncing across devices
- Consider burner accounts for high-risk interactions (e.g. legal, custody, co-parenting)
Remove passive monitoring:
- Audit smart devices and cloud-connected home gear
- Factory-reset or remove logins to previously used devices
- Cut unnecessary permissions from apps—especially those with camera, mic, or GPS access
A word on this section
These strategies are meant to give breathing room—not add to the overwhelm.
Start where it’s easiest. Work toward what’s hardest. And don’t go it alone if you don’t have to.
Next up: Who to talk to (and when) →