When the house doesn’t feel like yours

Thermostats, door locks, cameras—even light bulbs—can be turned into tools of control. This section shows you how to reclaim smart home devices, remove other users, and reset your space without drawing attention.

How to take control of a smart home device

Smart homes should work for you—not double as surveillance systems or control levers. Here’s how to check who’s really pushing the buttons.

  1. Identify which devices are in play. Look around—anything that connects to Wi-Fi could be talking. Start with:
  • Thermostats (e.g. Nest, Honeywell)
  • Cameras (indoor/outdoor, doorbells like Ring)
  • Smart speakers (Alexa, Google Nest)
  • Smart plugs or light bulbs
  • Door locks and alarms
  1. Check for signs of external control
  • Lights flickering or schedules changing unexpectedly
  • Thermostat altering itself
  • Door unlocking or relocking without input
  • Unexplained audio coming from smart speakers

These aren’t just glitches. They’re red flags.

  1. Access the device’s app from your own phone. Each device is controlled via an app—usually the one it was set up with. If the app’s not on your phone, or you’re locked out, it may have been registered to someone else’s account.

  2. Perform a factory reset on the device. Search online for the exact reset steps. Most devices have a small button or hidden pinhole. Resetting will:

  • Disconnect it from old accounts
  • Erase any hidden schedules or routines
  • Allow you to set it up fresh
  1. Reconnect it using your own account.
  • Create new accounts for services like Nest, Alexa, or Apple Home
  • Use a private email address
  • Use strong passwords and 2FA Avoid logging in with shared Apple IDs or Google accounts.

  1. Limit remote access. Disable features like “remote unlock” or “remote temperature adjustment” unless strictly needed. Local control is safer.

  2. Consider unplugging or replacing high-risk devices. If you’re unsure about a camera or speaker’s history, you can:

  • Unplug it when not in use
  • Replace it with a device you set up yourself
  • Use a simple timer switch or dumb alternative where possible

How to safely remove someone from a shared smart home ecosystem

Most smart homes are designed for families—families that trust each other. In abusive situations, “shared control” becomes a weapon. Let’s take the reins back.

  1. Know which ecosystem you’re dealing with. Each company has its own version of “family sharing”:
  • Amazon Household
  • Google Home & Google Family
  • Apple Family Sharing / HomeKit
  • Samsung SmartThings

If they’ve ever added you—or you added them—you may both have admin-level access.

  1. Review household or family members

Amazon:

  • Log in at amazon.com/myh
  • Go to “Manage Your Household”
  • Remove any members
  • Change passwords and check Echo/Alexa voice history

Apple:

  • Settings → Your Name → Family Sharing
  • Remove members
  • Also check Home app → Home Settings → People
  • Reset any HomeKit devices via their app

Google Home:

  • Open the Google Home app
  • Tap Settings → Household
  • Remove their account
  • Also check individual device settings → Linked accounts

  1. Change the main account, if possible. Some ecosystems only allow one “owner”. If they set up the device, you may need to reset it completely and start again.

  2. Perform a full factory reset on key devices. Especially for:

  • Speakers/displays
  • Door locks
  • Smart cameras

Reset instructions are specific—check the manufacturer’s site or manual.

  1. Check for routines, automations, or alerts
  • Delete any schedules or voice triggers they created
  • Remove device access from connected services (e.g. IFTTT, Spotify, YouTube)
  • Turn off things like “drop-in” on Alexa or “voice match” on Google
  1. Change passwords and unlink shared accounts. Don’t just remove them—lock them out.
  • Change Wi-Fi password
  • Reconnect devices yourself
  • Review app logins and delete unknown sessions
  1. Don’t forget the router. If they still know your Wi-Fi password or have admin access to the router, it’s best to change both:
  • Create a new network name (SSID)
  • Set a new, strong password
  • Update all devices with the new login